That's my sifu and me! Smelling and anointing ourselves with essential oils is important for meditations and Goddess Magick.

Text by Prime Sarmiento

Photos courtesy of Aaron Chua/House of Kite

Early this month, I spent a weekend in KL for a spiritual retreat. Or perhaps it is a magickal one? I don’t know. All I know is when I went there and experienced what I had to experience, I finally learned to let go of my preconceived ideas of what a spiritual retreat should be .

Or better yet, I started throwing away all the shoulds in my life – products of a life spent on guilt and feeling of unworthiness.

I began my spiritual retreat Friday night, having a one on one session with an astrologer – and from there learned the main themes in my life, the challenges (guilt mostly) that I had to transcend and the lessons I needed to master in this lifetime.

I learned the need to put mere time on self-reflection and having an outlet for my creativity – both of which will help me manifest my destiny. Soon afterwards I’m writing in my journal, reflecting on the printed astrological reading. I also bought an adult coloring book and a small box of color pencils – and colored away, finally understanding the global appeal of adult coloring books.

The next two days were spent on learning the magick and mysteries of Ancient Egypt with my soul group and my sifu. There were some meditations and healing and anointing with essential oils. There was a lot of sharing and discussions on Ancient Egypt’s mysteries, tarot and oracle card readings, magick and incantations, self-reflections and we capped the retreat by making some bit of magick with our dreamcatchers.

There was a very strong emphasis for taking full responsibility for our life, and in my case – how I need to break the vows that I made in my previous (and present) lifetimes – solitude, celibacy, poverty, service, to heal ancestral imprints, to remain true to what I believe in, to speak and live my own truth.

There were none of the rules you usually associate with spiritual retreats: go to some place isolated like deep in the mountains or a monastery in the woods, eat vegetarian/vegan meals, meditation for hours on end, no smoking, coffee or alcohol, no going to bars, stay celibate, do yoga.

The “retreat centre” is in a house in an upscale neighborhood at the heart of a city. There are yoga mats, but we didn’t do any asanas. We just sat there and either meditate and/oranalyze our deck of oracle cards. There’s an altar but we didn’t spend our time venerating images of Gods and Goddesses (which include a pantheon of Egyptian deities). During lunch breaks, I ate with my sifu and a healer/friend/dreamcatcher maker at a nearby bistro, enjoying some roast duck salad and a cup of americano. At the end of two-day retreat, I went to a gastropub to have a glass of wine and write more in my journal.

Discussions and sharing session at the Course in the Magick of Isis the Goddess at House of Kite in KL. With our sifu, Sherwin Ng.

More than two weeks after my KL trip, I can’t help but to feel at peace that I finally did my own spiritual retreat.

For years, I always wanted to do one – but I find yoga retreats too expensive and/or too focused on asanas and I think more suited for those who want to become yoga teachers. Meditation retreats in India and Chiang Mai are a bit too long for me – as you had to stay in an ashram for a few weeks, not to mention that I know I will probably get insane with their daily regimen of vegan meals, meditation all day long, chanting and silence. Joining Catholic pilgrimages is out of the question – I ‘m soo not into visiting one church after another while praying the rosary and listening to a priest who will probably make me more guilty for whatever “sins” I (supposed to have) committed. I had enough of that with my parents dragging me to church on Sundays and our annual Visita Iglesia during Lent.

But now, I can say that I did go to one retreat (or pilgrimage). It may not look like one of those retreats and pilgrimages that others are doing, but the thing is, it doesn’t have to be? Nor is a retreat something that I can only do once or twice in a year (in a lifetime), but something I can regularly include in my daily life.

In fact, two weeks after my astrological consultation, I still reflect on the printed astrological reading. It’s just 12 pages long (including my chart), and while I reflect on it almost every day, and write notes, I still keep on getting new insights (and writing notes) and understanding more the patterns of my life. I also keep on referring to my sifu’s notes and doing magick in my own way (which actually reminds me so much of Harry Potter haha).

It’s my DIY spiritual retreat, allowing me to learn once and for all that whether in travels, spirituality, love and life in general, I don’t need to follow a formula and just stick to whatever feels right and best for me.

Because the Goddesses will always have my back. At House of Kite in KL.