Lovers are not alone, and a real lover never destroys your aloneness. He will always be totally respectful toward your individuality, toward your aloneness. It is sacred. –Osho

Mastering the art of selfie at Mysore Palace, Mysore, South India, May 2016

They said that no trip to India will be complete without getting diarrhea – which is what happened to me on my last day in Bangalore (also my last day in my two-week south Indian sojourn). This, despite the fact that I am very careful with what I eat and drink (I only drink bottled water, never eat street food and dine in mid-range restaurants). It is also ironic that – given all the medicines and essential oils that I brought with me as I hopped from one city to another – I forgot to bring loperamide (which I will later found out is widely available in India’s pharmacies for less than a dollar per pack).

So there I was, alone in my room in a budget hotel somewhere in Bridge Road, and while there were clinics and pharmacies everywhere (my hotel, after all, was centrally located), I was too weak to even get up and see a doctor as I both had diarrhea and flu. Those were the times that really depressed me and I was telling myself that I should find a partner soon as this is such a sad, sad way to travel, a sad, sad way to live.

A few days later, I reflected on this and asked myself if aloneness has something to do with loneliness (or vice versa)?

I’ve been travelling alone for more than a decade and always enjoyed it – hence my decision to put up this blog to encourage women like you to craft your own journeys. But maybe I’m getting old and want some change? I looked back on my recent trip to India, Singapore and KL this past few months and still came with the same insight: aloneness is not the same as loneliness.

In fact, there are times that I travel (or even party) with friends, but still felt very lonely.

Spending Xmas Holidays with the daisies at Gardens by the Bay in Singapore, Dec 2015

Alone but not lonely in Singapore

I spent my Christmas holiday in Singapore alone and actually had fun. I didn’t plan it that way. I in fact organized a weekend getaway with my two so-called ‘friends’. I was supposed to have a Christmas Eve dinner with them, followed by a night out in one of the pubs in Orchard Road… which never happened. I won't go into details except for the fact that I was sooo humiliated when after booking a table in one of my friends’ favorite restaurant – and waiting there for two to three hours – they didn't show up because of some “emergency” (that’s what they said. But I still think they’re lying. Suffice to say that I seldom talk to these two women anymore).

Despite my disappointment, I decided to still enjoy my Christmas eve dinner. I had the lamb sausage and a glass of riesling and later, chatted with my lil sis and my mother. Both were horrified by what happened but at the same time advised me to enjoy my time in Singapore and not to allow these women ruin my Christmas holiday.

Lovely sculptures at Gardens by the Bay in Singapore, Dec 2015

I took their advice to heart by going around the city – exploring new sites, going to familiar and old haunts, relishing the fact that anywhere is just an MRT ride or Uber trip away without the inconvenience of going through a migraine-inducing traffic jams that can spoil one’s Christmas holiday in Manila. I did the whole il dolce far niente thing – visited museums and galleries (Singapore has well-curated collections), took selfies while trying to be an amateur botanist at the in the botanical garden, consulted a tarot card reader, had wine and home-cooked dinner with my friend Susan and her baobei Mark, watched football in a pub with a former colleague.

A kite flies somewhere in Woodlands , Singapore, December 2015

I enjoyed the luxury of idleness that I seldom enjoy in my job as a business editor. But more than that I managed to do whatever I wanted without having to consult anyone and satisfied my craving for company by reconnecting with old friends. Reaffirming my belief once again that solo travelling need not be a lonely venture.