posted by: Prime Sarmiento

This is what I value: That's me, backpacking in Bhutan. I'd rather spend on traveling than another worthless pair of designer shoes.

I was reading this post at I Will Teach You To be Rich the other day wherein A-list blogger Ramit Sethi talked about how watching a Bollywood movie made him think about “invisible scripts that guide our lives”:

“As I was watching this Indian movie, I started realizing how many invisible assumptions it revealed about Indian culture. And then I took a step back and thought about the American movies I watch all the time…movies that also reveal a tremendous amount about our own culture. These invisible scripts are so deeply embedded that we don’t even realize they guide our attitudes and behaviors.”

That post was so popular, garnering about 150 comments. The blog readers wrote about the same invisible scripts (e.g. “If I’m busy, then I’m more important”, “Men are the ones who pay in any relationship” and “If I have tons of Facebook friends, then I must be popular”) that cropped up in their lives, most of which were unpleasant, some irrelevant and others simply ridiculous that they decided to rewrite these scripts – no matter how difficult it was, going against your family, friends, your community.

Writing My Own Script

I’m one of the commenters and I was surprised to learn that despite my belief that I was (eherm!) a free spirited gypsygal, I also lived a life governed by an “invisible script.” I acted out my designated role in that script, believing that this will make me happy, successful, please my family and friends, bring harmony to my own community.

But true to my quest to be independent, (I guess it’s because I read a lot, and I studied in a university known for producing independent thinkers) , I decided not only to rewrite my script, but to produce a brand new one!

For instance, one of the invisible scripts that once guided my life is this: “Travel is a waste of money. Buy a car and house. Then and only then you can travel.”

Of course I never followed that script. I don’t know how to drive a car anyway (so why should I buy one?) and while I’m planning to buy a condo of my own, I don’t see the need to wait for a house and car just to travel. I traveled and continue to travel. I saved money, cut my spending ( no more hair rebonding, I seldom buy new shoes and clothes and even books, I cut down on eating out – it’s fattening anyway), just so I can do what I loved most in my life – travel!

That invisible script is a corollary to a bigger “invisible script” that guided most Filipinos – that only the rich can and have the right to travel.” Middle class Filipinos only travel only for WORK, as overseas working Filipinos (OFW), working as engineers/nurses in the Middle East, or perhaps in the U.S. (ahhh the Great American Dream!). For leisure? Only socialites,politicians,celebrities and journalists who are on media junkets can travel for leisure. And when Filipinos talk about traveling, it means going to the U.S. (yes, Virginia, a lot of us, in our heart of hearts just want to become AMERICANS.), or shopping in Hong Kong (that is, if you don’t have enough bucks to shop in Beverly Hills!)

That script, of course, had been chucked by most Filipinos these days because most young middle class Pinoys (especially the OFWs) can now afford to travel; and the proliferation of budget airlines in Asia has made traveling more affordable, spurring the Filipinos to explore the nearby cities in Southeast Asia. Suddenly, backpacking became “in vogue” here in the Philippines.

But this was not so ten years ago, when I as a twenty-something newbie reporter in Manila who can only travel when there’s an out-of-town assignment. Backpacking was an alien concept then for most Filipinos. It was only when I discovered Bootsnall and Lonely Planet guidebooks (take note this was in 2000, when there was no such thing as travel blog) that I learned that yes, I might have a modest budget, but I CAN AFFORD TO TRAVEL. There were no budget airlines in Southeast Asia then, but thanks to reading Lonely Planet and Bootsnall, I did learn to negotiate rates, look for travel agencies that offer cheaper rates, book rooms in guest houses, and appreciate temples, parks and museums more, learned that it’s more fun to go on a temple hopping in Laos instead of shopping in Hong Kong.

Sure, I gave up on spending for shoes or going the salon or buying a car, but they’re not that important to me. Giving them up doesn’t entail a sacrifice on my part because I value travel more than all those things and this is what I’ll gladly spend on.

Choosing Our own Script

In her book The Art of Choosing, psychologist Sheena Iyengar, the world’s leading authority on choosing notes that “Choosing helps us create our lives. We make choices and are in turn made by them.”

If you think that lack of of money is keeping you from traveling, then this might be the time to think on the choices you make and what is really important for you.

What we choose to spend on is a reflection of how we lead our life. You can choose to spend on another pair of designer shoes that you saw in a mall or you can always put that money in a piggy bank and save for that backpacking trip to Europe!