posted by Prime Sarmiento

(I reposted this story in line with the Pinoy Travel Bloggers’ Blog Carnival themed Solo Travel which is hosted by Philippine Blog Awards Best Travel Blog of 2010 Winner Nina Fuentes of Just Wandering)

“I think about the woman I have become lately, about the life that I am now living, and about how much I always wanted to be this person and live this life, liberated from the farce of pretending to be anyone other than myself.”

-Elizabeth Gilbert
Eat Pray Love
 
  While I’m not a big fan of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love, a copy of her book remains in my bookshelf. I still read parts of it from time to time, because I also had my Eat, Pray, Love experience several years ago.
 
  I was stuck in a cushy job that paid the bills but offered neither career nor personal growth. I once loved someone – only to get crashed and burned later. I lost my writing voice – as I had to suppress them for years in favor of business reporting.
 
  So one day, after months of planning, I quit my job and used my savings to go for three months of unstructured travel around Asia. Unlike Liz, I didn’t find a sexy and sweet Brazilian guy who worshiped every single part of my body (some girls have all the luck!:) But – and I know this will sound cliched – my career break gave me the chance to learn more about myself. I meditated, visited several Buddhist temples, joined writing workshops and yoga classes, explored my spirituality, met artists and other seekers.
 
You’re reading this because you want to be a solo woman traveler – like Liz, and like me. And yet, it ‘s difficult for you to take the first step – you can’t even decide where to go.
 
FEAR is holding you back.
 
  The fear of being alone in a strange place where you hardly know anyone. The fear of losing your partner, the fear that without a man (any man – even a worthless douche bag), you’ll die alone and unhappy. The fear that someone younger (and cheaper) will take your job. The fear that if you tell anyone you’re going on a career sabbatical, they will judge and mock you. They’ll call you crazy because you’re abandoning a stable career for something as frivolous as traveling on your own.
 
  Here’s the good news: it’s natural to be afraid. I had these fears and doubts as you. I was reluctant to quit my job in Singapore and give up my comfortable lifestyle. I was afraid to use my savings, thinking that I will end up broke after traveling for months. I was afraid to lose my career because I worked goddamn hard for it.
In the end, I decided to confront and release my fears. This isn’t because I’m braver than you. It’s just that traveling as a woman alone brought me gifts that outweighs my fears and it can do the same for you.
 
  *The Gift of Time: You spent your 20s clocking 60-hour workweeks. You were tired most of the time, but you didn’t care as you were busy climbing your way up the corporate ladder. And now that the top is just a few steps more, you discovered there was nothing there! Having time for yourself, to do whatever you want, to work on whatever issues you want to deal with – this is perhaps the most valuable gift you can give yourself.
 
  *The Gift of Solitude: You grew up surrounded by friends and family – and you find yourself mimicking their desires, hopes and frustrations. Traveling solo for at least several months will allow you to assess yourself , your strengths and weakness, to realize your childhood dream. You can do whatever you want – and you don’t need to ask anyone for permission.
 
  *The Gift of Spirituality: Being alone allows you to tread your chosen spiritual path. You are free to reject all the scriptures and teachings which have dominated your life because that’s what your family taught you to believe. You can spend more time meditating, praying, reading spiritual books, consulting (and eventually following) your spiritual teacher.
 
  *The Gift of Community: As a woman traveling alone, you can always find friends everywhere. You can join other solo women travelers, or befriend locals of the city you’re visiting. You’ll meet other people who are not only interesting and kind, but also give your life more color and meaning.
 
  *The Gift of Confidence: Traveling solo means learning to decide by yourself when dealing with difficult situations that you’ll encounter on the road. You’ll have to figure out how to budget, how to negotiate, how to find a safe hostel and whether you want to dance with that guy with a cute accent.
 
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What are the fears that’s keeping you from traveling on your own? Want to get over your fears? Come back here and get free advice on how to release the fear of traveling solo.