text by Prime Sarmiento
photos by Nina Sarmiento
I used to have "passport envy".
I love to travel but I also treated it like a contest. Whenever I heard my friends/acquaintances/colleagues talked about their holidays abroad or business trips, I usually butt in and brag about the many countries that I visited. If I know I can't "compete" with their travel stories, I just sit in one corner, keep quiet, and think: "Of course she has to travel because she has to compensate for her sucky sex life/dysfunctional family/boring job/ugliness."
Yeah, I know I was such an insecure bitch. It was difficult for me to accept that some of my friends/colleagues have more passport stamps than me. To me, it meant that I was a LOSER, that I didn't have a cool career that can give me enough money, time and opportunity to go abroad more often.
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"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves; and we travel, next, to find ourselves."
It took me more than ten years of traveling mostly on my own to realize how ridiculous I was.
I was supposed to go to Yogyakarta early this month as my birthday present to myself. I told everyone that I was going there to view the fabulous Borubudor temple. That was partly true because I have another reason for booking a flight there: the ticket was on sale, giving me a chance to acquire another stamp in my passport. I felt that I didn't travel enough in 2010, so I had to make do by seeking for cheap flights in 2011.
Oh, god(dess), I was really pathetic.
It was while I was sitting in front of my computer, canceling my round trip flight to Indonesia that I understood what that oft-quoted-it-already-sounds-like-a cliche-first graf-from-Pico Iyer's essay meant.
I looked at my calendar and I realized that I have to work on my other more important projects such as completing my masteral thesis. Do I really need another stamp in my passport just to feed on my insecurity?
How could I have reduced something that has given me pleasure and insights into a numbers game?
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“ In a place of mindfulness, I can zoom in on right now instead of getting caught too caught up in yesterday or tomorrow. The feeling is sweet. Comforting. A refuge.”
I'm gradually learning to practice mindfulness while traveling. It's about living in the now and being happy for what I have. Mindfulness is indeed sweet.
Mindfulness means traveling less. I stay in one place for several days just enjoying what that place has to offer – whether it's doing asanas every day in Ubud, or drinking coffee while enjoying the cool weather and bohemian vibe of Baguio city.
Mindfulness is discovering the beauty even in the most ordinary places. I was born and lived in the Philippine capital – Manila – most of my life. I have gushed over the other cities I visited – 'ohh Bangkok is soo cosmopolitan' or 'I love the artsy feel of Toronto', but I didn't even bother to explore my own hometown, failing to appreciate my luck that I live in a historic and colorful city.
So I resolved ti become a tourist in my own city. The most memorable travel that I did last year involved taking a 15 minute cab drive from our house. I spent the Lunar New Year joining a food tour of Binondo, Manila's renown Chinatown. It was here that I discovered the best dumplings in the city and also learned more about the Filipino- Chinese community and their part in our country's history.
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“We only have a limited amount of time per day, and if we gave attention to one thing, that’s less attention given to another thing. Real results are produced as a product of focused attention.”
– Tina Su
Mindfulness is about inner journeys -exploring your passions, knowing yourself, focusing on it and giving yourself the chance to follow your dreams.
For me, being a mindful traveler is about living the dream of being a travel writer. Of course I need to travel to make this a reality, but the operative word here is “writer” – how can I be a travel writer if I can't s it down, write and publish it in my blog?
This is why I took a time off from blogging this month. In my previous site. I used to post at least once a week and despite my busy schedule at work, even managed to write at least one guest post a month. I also read a lot of blogs, commented on them and was very active twittering about posts and other stories I like.
This post that you're reading now is only my SECOND post this month. I haven't written a guest post for the past two months. I seldom twittered and even refrained from reading other blogs. Instead, I spent the last three weeks doing my annual review, planning for 2011 and drafting my five year plan.
What I learned was that I had far too many goals in 2010. I was tired most of the time. I also failed to achieve most of my goals as my attention and energy was scattered just about everywhere.
For this year, I resolved to FOCUS on a big goal for each areas of my life – career, finance, health, education and spirituality – and to dedicate more time and energy to achieve these goals.
On the career front: I always wanted to become a professional travel writer – and I wanted to do this via my travel blog.
So this is my commitment to myself – to hone my skills and discover the writing voice that has been "damaged" by more than a decade of working as a business journalist. I have been writing for years based on what my media company's guidelines and not on what I felt, that even when I was writing a personal e-mail or blogging, I tend to write like a reporter. I was critical, skeptical, always looking for facts ti support every controversial thing that I wrote.
I wrote from the head, not from the heart. This time, I want to write MORE from the heart. I joined a writing workshop precisely for this purpose. And after much thinking and scrimping, decided to seek professional help from Ali Luke, a writing coach.
I also resolved to write less – sticking to writing only TWO well-thought and well-researched blog posts a month and only guest posting every two months. I know that I'm breaking all the rules of blogging – aspiring probloggers are supposed to blog more often to gain traffic. But I don't care. I respect myself and my blog readers, so I want to devote more time honing my craft as a travel writer. People who are addicted to daily streams of content can go read other blogs.
I also committed to make this blog the premier resource for women who are keen on traveling on their own. So aside from stories of my solo travels, I will also be publishing in the next few months a series of articles that aims to serve as a comprehensive guide to all you women out there who want to travel on your own for the first time. I hope this will help you in crafting your personal journeys
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