By Prime Sarmiento
One of the many mysteries of the universe that I can’t still understand is our insistence of making New Year’s resolutions at the start of the year, only to break each of these resolutions by February and justify these actions by saying that we’re too busy/too poor/don’t have enough discipline to follow it through, etc.
Jezebel writer Lindy West hit the nail in the head in her snarky post – Let’s Face It – You Are Not Following Through on Any of This ‘Resolution Shit:
“That shit is never going to happen – or, at least, it's not going to happen 100%.”
Because as Lindy – and most experts have repeatedly said – we often make too many and too difficult resolutions. It’s as if for some weird reason we are planning for failure instead of success.
My business mentor, Suitcase Entrepreneur Natalie Sisson said in her wonderful podcast that most people fail to keep their New Year Resolutions because “they have made it too difficult from the get go.”
“You go ahead and write down ten or more wondrous goals you’d like to achieve that are not really realistic or aligned with anything you have on your calendar already for 2013.
In fact I just found my old note book from 2011 and wondered how on earth I ever thought I’d achieve every one of my ridiculous goals. They were so out of whack.”
I admit that I’m one of those who used to make resolutions (my favorite: losing weight) only to break it in the end, and justify why I did it (“I’m too tired to go to the gym./ But I really cant resist that last piece of cake/I’m depressed so I’m entitled to eat this ice cream.").
But recently as I go through many inner and outer journeys, I realized that this is not I want to live my life. I decided that instead of setting resolutions, I should set intentions for the year – a theme that will guide me as I move towards my personal goals and dreams.
So if you’re planning something for the year – like finally making that first step towards traveling alone as a woman or going on a career break in order to travel – I suggest that you ditch those resolutions and set your intentions.
So if you’re planning something for the year – like finally making that first step towards traveling alone as a woman or going on a career break in order to travel – I suggest that you ditch those resolutions and set your intentions.
Here’s how you can do it now:
1. Review and Release the Past :
We are often so quick to make plans for the year ahead that we seldom look back and review what went wrong or what we did right in the previous year. I can understand why it’s sometimes painful to look back at the year that was, especially it was a year littered with broken resolutions.
I actually hate that stupid phrase “why don’t you just move on?”
The thing is we can’t “move on” blindly and forget everything. Click to tweet: The only way we can MOVE ON and also MOVE FORWARD is to learn from and release the past.
In her post "What Do I Do If I Can’t Come Up With Goals For The New Year?," Goddess Mentor Leonie Dawson said said: that reviewing and releasing the past “allows us to transform our story.”
In her post "What Do I Do If I Can’t Come Up With Goals For The New Year?," Goddess Mentor Leonie Dawson said said: that reviewing and releasing the past “allows us to transform our story.”
“ To see that we weren’t just victims of a long string of shitty things happening to us. To instead glimpse that it all happened for a reason. That our souls learn huge, deep and powerful lessons even in the hard times. Especially in the hard times.”
So look back, be honest with yourself and ask yourself these questions: what were your failures, what were your successes, what have you learned, how will you move on from now?
2. Choose a Theme for the Year:
Online business consultant Nathalie Lussier said that while she does strategic planning every year for her online business, she also does intention setting exercise to guide her In her post Introspection & Intention Setting: Ownership,
Nathalie said:
“What this intention exercise does is ask you to choose one word that will act like an anchor throughout the year, so that you can focus on what makes you feel your best.”
Indeed, setting an intention can be as easy as just choosing your word or phrase of the year. And this word will guide all your actions for the rest of the year.
For instance, last year was a productive year for me and for The Gypsygals – because I had a wonderful theme for the year – Follow Your Heart.
For instance, last year was a productive year for me and for The Gypsygals – because I had a wonderful theme for the year – Follow Your Heart.
So the whole year of 2012 was dedicated to me building this wonderful community for solo female travelers because this has always been my dream. I invested time, money and energy writing informative and inspiring posts, networking with travelers all over the world and learning from various mentors on how to be the fab indie online publisher that I’m aspiring for. I also did a lot of inner work, meditating and accessing my intuitive guidance , traveled to places I always wanted to visit (Beijing and Hanoi), learned mandarin, tried online dating and even accepted some writing jobs on the side because I think they’re cool. When I felt that I no longer had a social life, I make it a point to call and meet up friends to bond with them.
I never thought twice and followed all my heart’s desires in 2012. This year, my theme is “Go Big or Go Home.”
I wanted to make The Gypsygals bigger – serve a bigger community, fulfill my soul’s purpose, sit at the Big Girls table – so expect more things from here from now on – like more guidebooks and even videos!! That’s also why I invested on a one on one session with a business mentor to make this happen. I also plan to travel more this year – like going to Ireland to visit my lil sis – so yes I need to invest more time and money on that.
I also want to live a bigger and richer life from now on and I’m setting out some tasks on how to make this happen – which I’d rather keep to myself for now ;).
There are several ways of setting intentions. To me, a woo-woo gal, I prefer having guided meditation to access my inner guidance and the Goddess within. That is usually how I “receive” my theme for the year.
Spiritual mentor Rachelle Mee Chapman calls this an epiphany – the a-ha moment, the act of finding your “guiding star” word of the year. In this short video, Rachelle explained how finding that guiding star changed her work, body and parenting style:
If you can’t find that guiding star, then perhaps you can ask for a miracle instead? Gabrielle Bernstein, author of May Create Miracles, notes that a shift in perception may lead to miracles in your life. Gabrielle elaborated on this in this interview with Natalie Macneil.
3. Be Specific:
Once you know your theme for the year, it’s now easy to list down ways on how to make all actions aligned with your intention for the year.
The list need not be grandiose, but it has to be specific, making it easier for you to act on it. Pro-blogger and copy writer Sarah Von’s list of 13 fresh-starts for the new year illustrates how simple and specific changes can bring in a better year.
I for one think that To Do list # 11 – Try a new scent – is fantastic! I love my fruity cologne, but trying new ones (vanilla and cinnamon scents) lifted my mood and pushed me to be more productive.
In explaining the rationale behind To Do list # 11 – Try a new scent, Sarah Von said:
“Aroma therapy is for real. Why not try a completely new scent for your home? Or a perfume that's completely outside of what you normally go for? I'm usually all over what I call 'cougar scents' – musky, spicy things that make me smell like a 50 year old woman who flies first class, drinks too many martinis and pinches the bums of stewards. But I'm going to give something light and floral a try!”
Or, if you are not into list making, perhaps you can focus on what you want to feel instead?
This is what intuitive coach Christina Ambubuyog did in welcoming the new year. In her post A Fresh Start! Creating an Incredible 2013! , Christina focused on how she wants to FEEL and from here worked on what she has to do to feel that way the whole year.
“Get real with yourself and commit to what you are WILLING to commit to, not what you should, ought to or have to. Willingness is a desire, an inspired co-creative partnership between you and your will.
When you activate this desire and will, then you give yourself permission to make it happen.”
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I know this is some mega-epic post but if you feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start there are some tools that you can access to make this easy and fun. Here are some resources I recommend:
1. Leonie Dawson’s 2013 Create Your Incredible Year Workbook, Planner and Calendar is a lovely glorious printable planner will allow you to review 2012, release it and then guide you in planning your actions and make them aligned to your intentions. It’s pretty and organized and costs less than ten bucks – what better way to start the year?
2. Guided Meditation Kit:
Leonie’s guided meditation will help you set your intentions. You can start accessing your inner guide by going into ZEN mode via the five-minute holy dinger uber deep zennifying meditation guide . It may have a long and ridiculous name but it’s the fastest and effective way to ground yourself.
3. Spiritual Community:
If you want to live and reflects more on your intentions for the rest of the year, then joining Rachelle in The Flock– an experimental online relig-ish community. Every month, Rachelle sends out videos and meditations that will allow you to reflect and practice your spirituality.
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So what is your intention for this year? You can post that in the comment section or share it via a growing community of solo female travelers in Facebook. Thanks and enjoy your journeys!
Credits: Background Image courtesy of Ballast Media
